1 Sentence Review: The World's End

The final chapter in the Cornetto trilogy ends a series that spiritually started with the TV show Spaced, brilliantly continued with Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, and comes to a close with the most mature, adult, and emotional picture the trio of Pegg, Frost, and Wright have done to date, and this viewer could not recommend the best movie of summer 2013 enough. 

Gentlemen, it's been a fun ride. Till next time.

1 sentence review: Despicable Me 2

I could have done with about 60% less minions and far more of the four main characters, but if you found the first movie enjoyable, then you will find this one enjoyable too, however, unless you have to see this movie, feel free to skip it, as its nothing to write home about. 

Less of whatever this is...

... and more of these guys.

Star Trek: The Original Series

As a kid, when I would watch new episodes of Star Trek the Next Generation, episodes of the original Star Trek series preceded it. This meant to me that both series were new, and I got to compare them side by side. Now I don’t know why, but I always thought that the original Star Trek was the newer series, and the Next Generation was the older one. Maybe it was because there was a level of camp that as a kid I liked, or that I preferred Krik and his crew more, but regardless of the cause, to me Star Trek was better than the Next Generation. So after I watched Into Darkness this summer, I decided it was time to travel down memory lane and see how much these series stand up.

I, of course, started were it began, at Star Trek. A lot has been said about this series; William Shatner’s long pauses, how a red shirt always dies, Scotty blabbering on about how he’ll give it his best, McCoy always angry at everything Vulcan, and how damn cool Spock is. So there was a little bit of hesitation I had when I readied myself to re-watch the show. How would I react to a series written in the 60’s, a time period I have no affinity or appreciation to. Well, I’m glad I watched it, because man was the show good. Sure the special effects were dated, the fight scenes were slow bordering on painful, but the characters were spot on.

The classic crew, before they were recast as teens in the new movies.

Yes, Kirk got the girl, every time, but it’s not like he went out of his way to bed them. No! A lot of the time these women were attracted to him, because in all honesty, he was a brave pioneer who always strived to do what was right, despite the fact he always leaped before he looked. Yes, some red shirts died, but not on every mission. And when they did, it hurt Kirk personally. He would lament the loss of a single crewman, and considered the loss a personal failure. Kirk was a good leader, one I would want to not only to lead me in battle, but in diplomatic negotiations too, long pauses and all. He was smart, brave, caring, and thoughtful. The cloth he was cut from ran out a long time ago.

My captain has hair.

If we are going to talk of Kirk, we must talk of his ‘better half’ Spock. If there were a second in command more trustworthy, noble, brave, and smart, I’ve yet to see them. The man was dependable, and in a universe where finding someone trustworthy is difficult enough, knowing that you have a man like Spock behind you gives you the freedom to leap before you look. There was a regal calmness emanating from Spock that could steady the crew even in it's darkest of moments. If Kirk were the heart of the series, Spock was its brain.

This now brings us to McCoy. The good doctor was the cranky voice of caution the ship needed. If Kirk and Spock were the Superman/Wonder Woman of this trinity, then McCoy was the Batman. Not in physical skill or tactical mindset, but he was the most human character. He was worried (almost constantly), would rather play it safe than jump in head first, and seemed to go out of his way to disagree with Spock, but it was never out of malice. He was the necessary third wheel, the man who could rein in two larger than life characters. McCoy was a great deal of fun, and not just because he was mostly the fish out of water.

After 79 episodes, I really got an appreciation for this show, the actors, and the characters they played. It was a great deal of fun that was also unafraid of tackling issues such as race, war, genocide, and human frailties while putting a hopeful spin on our species. I fell in love with the Enterprise and her crew, and as I start the Next Generation, I go into it hopeful, knowing full well that what I’m about to get is a different breed of Star Trek, and I’m looking forward to it.

Who am I, to not give the Captain of the Enterprise,  some time?

What is NBC Sports doing to Formula 1?

I'm a Formula 1 racing fan living in the United States. A fan who actually liked Speed's coverage of the sport, so I was a little concerned over the change to NBC, but optimistic over new blood taking over. However, it turns out I was not concerned enough. I've now unsuccessfully tried to watch the last three races, only to have them not start when they are supposed to, and always preceded by the race results and major happenings. I guess that NBC just doesn't give a shit. I sent them an email this morning after once again being f**ked while trying to watch the race. I doubt anyone there will do anything or even read it, but I wanted it out there, for all 3 of you who happen to stumble upon this post who may be also suffering because of NBC. As Zod would say; 'You are not alone'. 

Here is my email:

To whom it may concern, pass this on to someone who can make a difference,

Since you have taken over the Formula 1 broadcast, you have been doing an atrocious job of showing it on TV. As I am writing this (11:45 am EST), you are supposed to be showing the Silverstone GP, but are instead showing the Tour De France. That would be fine if you had a little note at the bottom stating that F1 will follow once the bike race is over, but instead, you cut to a news break informing me not only of the major happenings in the race, but who won it. That is f**king unacceptable. I usually work over the weekends, but rearranged my work schedule to watch the race only for you cunts to ruin it for me. What dumb f**king monkey is making these decisions? And I can't believe that you have a larger audience tuning into the Tour De France than F1, but even if you do, it gives you no right to treat the F1 audience with such contempt. You have now ruined the last three F1 races for me, but as a British man living in America, who went to Silverstone to watch the race live numerous times, this was the straw that broke the camel's back. Your incompetence is sickening, and I hope everyone in charge of F1 gets laid off and someone with some passion for the sport takes over.

With utmost sincerity, go f**k yourselves.

Xbox One80

Something interesting happened after the E3 press conferences. That arrogant company that released a console a hundred dollars more expensive than the competition with the assumption that everyone would buy their expensive product, well just because, and then for the proceeding years after they continued to try and tell their consumers what they wanted, instead of listening. It cost them a huge portion of the market share, and took them 8 years to finally catch up to the install base of their closest competitor. Remember them? Well it looked like Microsoft was copying their playbook, right down to the fan outrage. Then sh*t got real.

The curse of the 3rd console is real!!!

Microsoft, the champion of always online and used games restrictions, changed their tune and reversed their stance on both policies. Sony, with their chests puffed out, went on stage at E3 and declared that the PS4 will play used games, and that the console doesn't need to be always online. Fans cheered, the internet went mental over it, and some Xbox’ers claimed that they were switching allegiance to the Playstation nation. However, when the internet gets ablaze because of issues like this, it rarely causes any significant, if any, change to occur (Kony 2012 anyone?). So just why did Microsoft change their tune?

Sony be like, what? Block used games? Oh hell no. 

It’s all conjecture from here on out, but the nice thing to think would be that Microsoft heard all the people’s cry and decided that the masses were right, and gave the people what they wanted. Another, and more likely, angle is that Sony’s pre-orders were eclipsing that of Microsoft’s, and they couldn't afford to stumble out of the gate like that. The PS3 suffered from a very poor strategy, coupled with it being released a year after Xbox 360, so it’s no wonder that it took them 7 to 8 years to reach and edge out the 360s install base. Regardless of the decision, it was smart, because right now all that stands between the PS4 and the Xbox One is $100.

We are so sorry. Please, just buy the damn thing.

It’s going to be interesting to see what happens to both consoles a year after launch. No doubt Sony has the best first party studios in the industry, but Microsoft has stupid amounts of money to the point where they can literally buy exclusives from third parties. They seemingly have already done that with the very cool looking Titanfall. But for every Titanfall, Sony can conceivably answer with an Infamous, an Order 1886, and unannounced Naughty Dog project, which can go against Xbox ‘exclusives’. It’s been a while since two major consoles have launched side by side, and with both seemingly coming this November, only time will tell which console wins the hearts and minds of not just the hardcore gamer, but the general consumer. Begun, the console wars have!!!

1 sentence review: Fast & Furious 6

I have no idea what the hell I just saw, and I don't know who thought it was a good idea to have a supposedly great team of international thieves who steal money and stop other thieves using super fast cars while making excruciatingly bad jokes, but you know what, I had a hell of a lot of fun once my brain switch off. 

For a movie that doesn't involve superheroes, people be flying all over the place.

1 Sentence Review: Man of Steel

An emotional and well told tale of a son caught between two fathers and torn between two worlds, struggling to find his place in the world and the answers to his deepest questions. 

"From one Superman to another, he did a good job Chris."
"I couldn't agree more George."