Does the Steam Box Confuse Anyone Else?

I don’t understand the Steam Machines. I know I can’t be the only one, but for some reason this annoys me. Not the Steam Machine; the total confusion. The root of my problem is, ‘who are they for, why do they need to exist, and what new aspects to gaming they will bring about?’. I’m just at a total loss.

I'm going to sit here until someone explains it to me

When I first heard about the Steam Machine rumors, I couldn’t help but laugh. I knew Valve made a ton of money from Steam, but why they would make a box built around that platform was mind boggling. I just chalked it off to fan rumors used to explain the total lack of new Half Life.

But time when on, and the rumors picked up steam. Then one day I saw the concept for a goofy looking controller that looks about as comfortable as a colonoscopy and I was like, there is no way this can be real. However, Valve admitted that they were partnering with other companies to make the box(s) with said controllers previously shown. 

This can't feel good

 So at first I expected one or two boxes; an entry level machine and a top of the line box that does everything including making pancakes. But for some reason I got 13 boxes. Made by different companies. With different specs. Different prices. Different designs (one that even rips off the PS4). And I was like ‘What!?’ And Gabe was like ‘What?’ And I said ‘Huh? What are you doing?’ And Gabe said ‘Not making Half Life 3’. So I tried to read the specs of the boxes, which turned out to be pointless because not only are they quite different, but some companies haven’t even finalized what’s in the boxes, and I don’t have time to read through 13 different specs that will change. So I gave up, believing that the Steam Machine is not for me.

The PS4... I mean Steam Box

But why not? Why should I give up? This should be right up my alley. A box dedicated to the Steam-verse and all the great things it offers. I should be all over this. It’s like a PC with a console interface. And that’s when it hit me. It is a PC with a controller. I have a PC. And I could buy a controller for it if I wanted to. In fact, everyone who has a Steam account has a PC, and I’m sure that some have controllers too. If I wanted to play using Steam, I could have done so for years. So why is Valve making boxes now?

The answer to that question was the Steam OS. Like any other OS made by any other company, it’s supposed to be the ‘be all end all’ OS. Great! So why can’t I just buy the OS from Valve and use that instead of Windows from now onwards? I could install it on my PC, get the Valve controller (or plug in my PS4 controller) and call it a day. Why do I have to shell out up to $6000 for a Steam dedicated box? I just don’t get it. Why Valve. Just tell me why?

Valve, now might be a good time remember the story of Icarus

I’m confused, frustrated, and feeling like an old man. I’m way outta my element with this whole concept. I’ve tried reading about it. I’ve watched videos were smart people discuss the machines, but none of it makes sense to me. I’m at a loss. I don’t use Steam, and unless the PlayStation brand goes away permanently, I don’t really see myself using Steam anytime soon. I don’t get it, or why Valve is doing it, and I have to come to terms with the fact that like Sex in the City, I will probably never understand what the hell is going on. I’m rising a white flag of stupidity. Valve, go easy on me. And please, for the love of God, just tell me if you have given up on the Half Life franchise. I won’t care if you have. It’s the not knowing that hurts.

This man feeds on your tears

Stop Wasting My Time!

Over the last couple of weeks, while surfing through the internets, feeling the wind in my hair, the smell of 1’s and 0’s in the air, I stumbled across a couple of articles; this one, this one, and this one. I clicked on these articles because their topic of discussion (the first two about Naughty Dog and the last about Half Life 3) was of great interest to me. So when I clicked upon the links, I was frustrated to find that not only were these articles speculative bordering on inane, but complete wastes of time.

The reason that I come down hard upon these articles is because of the leaps made by the authors surrounding their subject material. The first two articles, written by Giuseppe Nevla for DualSHOCKERS, chose to embellish upon a Sony Computer Entertainment Italy Facebook post that contained an image of a PS4 controller made out of coal with the caption ‘Naughty’ in it. From here, he goes on a journey, of what I can only assume was epic proportions, to claim that there might be some hint at a Naughty Dog game reveal in the coming days. He bases this on nothing substantial, and makes leaps so huge that the Ancient Aliens guys would be embarrassed by him.

Giuseppe essentially wrote what this guy does for a living.

Giuseppe’s next article is essentially a retraction of his previous article of 48 hours earlier. He tried to clothe the ridiculousness of said piece by exclaiming that because of the festive season of the holidays, and Sony Italy being the only Sony site that chose to celebrate this, was the cause of his, and apparently many others, confusion. That annoyed me greatly. If he were honest (I made leaps and bounds for internet hits), then I would not have cared. However, to pretend that his readers are so stupid that they would believe that he wasn’t trying to fish for hits is insulting. Hell, the comment section below his second article seems to read like it’s all Sony’s fault that these articles were written. What the hell is wrong with those people? Sony didn’t force Giuseppe to write nonsense. He did that all on his own.

The final article that irked me was Dylan Zellmer’s article on Half Life 3, or rather, why Valve may never make one. Instead of pointing out the painfully obvious (between Steam and their new ventures in hardware, Valve have no monetary need to make games anymore), he chooses to focus on a quote about the importance of level design, and how multi-player experiences might be more valued than that which was found in Half Life games from a developer’s point of view. It’s an interesting quote, that actually might reflect how this new style of development may be influencing the next installment of Half Life if Valve ever choose to make one, but by no means can one say that this can be interpreted as why Half Life 3 may never come out. It’s not even the full quote. It’s taken in complete isolation, used to promote the dialogue of the article, and probably has nothing to do with any game Valve may be making. By manipulating the source quote, Dylan has shown quite an apt that would make political extremists proud.

G Man was not amused.

Thankfully, Dylan provided a source for the quote for his readers to read through and make their own minds up. But the fact that the entire article (a Washington Post blog post), in which Gabe Newell is interviewed by Andrea Peterson about why Valve is the way it is as a company, has been misconstrued by an author using his views instead of the facts of the article (which doesn’t even mention Half Life 3) to write speculative jargon should be embarrassing to both author and igameresponsibly.com. However, like my good buddy Giuseppe from a couple of paragraphs above, Dylan’s articles comes off as a fishing for hits expedition. Cheap and a waste of precious time.

There have always been people writing nonsense (I’m sure I’ve done my fair share of it), to get readers. There is nothing wrong with that. People should be allowed to write crap so that it is no longer inside of them. However, they should not be presented as news articles. Leave the speculations to blog posts, where all three of these articles belong. There is no need to claim this as news. If you write well, about real news topics, then you will get the hits you deserve, and the recognition that may lift you up to a better place. Until then, leave speculative tat to the blogosphere.

In this case mine.